or scream it in your ear.

i think the class really believes in camera whoring. well. me actually. going around class to take pictures. but i don't care much either.

and i had no idea that chinese N levels are today! gosh gosh. i'll be praying. for sean and larris and emmanuel and who else is taking the paper ah? i don't know. i think i'll just be praying for those who are taking the paper. yes yes! do well all! i'll be praying and hoping that you all will do well!
larris; don't use the clock to find your answers all can? try to understand what you're doing can? don't give me a heart attack. don't try your luck. its the freaking N levels for goodness sake!
sean; don't think of trying the eraser trick i taught you! if not. i'll be the one to slap you so hard. your head is going to turn to one side and you can never looks straight. try to finish the paper both of you!
i'm not really worried about emmanuel though. i know he studies. just try your best and don't give up alright? you rock prince!

i'm going through alot at the moment. and i'm sorry if i can't tell any of you much about it. but i need help. and alot of it.

sugarhoney;
i miss you dear. i know you're having exams. but i really hope that i can see you in church on saturday.

bestfriend;
where are you. i miss your stupid jokes. i miss you making me laugh. and i miss you telling me on how you're going to be on Men's Health two years from now. i miss you over all. seeing you once in so many months is not enough! no! not enough at all.

venting machine;
i want to vent. i want to vent. i want to vent! there is just so much i need to let out. i need a punching bag now. i really think i need a shoulder to cry on.

GOD;
please make this all easier for me. and give me strength. cause i need it. like really need it. lift the cross from my shoulders for a while. wait for me to heal first.

precious;
it gets scary when i hear you shout at me. i don't know if i'm doing anything wrong. but i have been trying to do everything right. trust me. i am. and i still don't know why this is happening. you should know that i don't want anything happening to me. not yet.
there is just so much more i want to tell you. but i think that you shouldn't know. not yet. maybe i feel that i'm not ready to tell you. feeling like i need to rehearse what i need to say to you so that you won't think otherwise of me. so that you won't push me away. i bite my tongue everytime i'm about to say something i'm not supposed to say.
maybe you are right. that when i say that i'm fine. i'm still suffering. in silence. cause its fine compared to suffering out loud.
i don't want you to be upset about me. or because of me for that matter. i don't like that. but plase. try not to shout at me alright? i'll do as you say. don't scare me like that. like i said. i dont like you shouting at me.
but thank you for being there. thank you for knowing that i need you. thank you for giving me strength. thats why i say you're amazing. thats why you're precious to me.
you rock.

i need healing. i really need this. gosh. i shall go for AMPLIFY. and i shall go for mass too. yes yes. i need God at this moment. and i hope He is there.

i had the notion that you'd made me change my ways.
my bad habits will be gone in a matter of days.
i had the feeling that you'd open up my eyes.
to a whole new world that has since been in disguise.
but that day will most likely never come for me.
and its my luck to end up getting stuck
to everything you are.
so tonight i'll sit and pick apart your pictures.
and overanalyze your words.
but the truth is that i've never fallen so hard.
its taken everything in to just to forget your sweater so far.
i had the notion that you'd make me forget the world.
but your indecisive mind shows me that you're "just another one".
i had the feeling that those looks you gave me were real.
what if i rip your heart out at the seams maybe then you'd know how i feel.
but that day will most likely never come for me.
and its just my luck to end up getting stuck to everything you are.
i can honestly say.
that i never ever ever felt this way.
your lips, your eyelashes, your skin.
these are the parts of your body that cause my comatose to begin.

i will sleep another day.
i don't really need to anyway.
what's the point when my dreams are infected with words you used to say?
i will breathe in a moment.
as long as i keep my distance.
i wouldn't want to go messing anything up.
so don't go worrying about me.
its not like i think about you constantly.
so maybe i do,
but that shouldn't affect you life anymore.
i knew it the moment you walked into the door.
i'll let you get the best of me.
because there's nothing else that i do well.
i'll be the giver and you'll be the taker.
i guess thats how this one's gonna go.
i'll be the give and you'll be the taker.
you've got me down on my knees and i proclaim.
"all hail the heartbreaker".

;the spill canvas.